On behalf of head-shaving bald men everywhere, welcome to the club, sir.
My little sketch made the front page of Buzzfeed. Do please check it out, and give it a heart or an LOL, so that it will stay there as long as possible! http://bit.ly/XbJjxR
I wrote a thing! The brilliant Terrence Giang spent a lot more hours on it than I did. You know nothing, DigitalDeron.
This monologue was a request from Heidi Loveridge, a London-based actress coming to the U.S. for a round of auditions. She asked for something “really funny, really contemporary, and even a bit stupid, then turns into something that brings it down to earth with something really sad. Makes the watcher feel bad for laughing.”
Tall order for a page or two! But heck, that’s what I’m all about.
You can see me? Oh, praise the maker!
Oh, dear, but… I’m sorry. That means you’re lonely. Only lonely people can see me.
Welcome to Chesterton Manor. I’m the Grey Bride. Maybe you’ve heard of me? No? Hgghffff. In my day, a haunted manor was something special. Mortals aren’t impressed by anything any more. I blame mobile phones.
Yes, I know your technology. The Innkeeper often falls asleep with the television on. I may have been born in 1862 but I’m completely caught up with the Kardashians.
(You have no idea how much I wish he innkeeper would pick a different channel.)
And that’s called a laptop, right? You can use it for… What is it called? Bogging? You could make a bog post, and people would see it on their laptops?
I must share the story of my death with seven thousand, seven hundred, seventy-seven mortals before I may leave this realm. That is the curse when one is partly responsible for one’s own death. The rules are ancient, and care not a whit how long it takes me. Nor do they distinguish over circumstances. I… found my husband in this room, with… with a prostitute. My world went red. I flew at him, nails… teeth. That’s when the man I loved, calm as you please, put his hands around my throat and… I thought he would stop. That was my last thought, when will he stop?
They let this room out so seldom. You’re only the sixth person to hear my story. But if you did a bog post for me, we could tell so many people, so much faster.
I don’t have money… I thought… I can’t touch– But, I could… undress? I saw what you were doing with the laptop earlier. Please don’t be mad! … I would be better than that, right? You could… Tell me what to do?
Want to use this piece for an audition? Need to know my name? Want me to create a custom monologue for you? See the monologues page.
On last night’s The Daily Show, guest Al Gore started by telling Jon Stewart how much he liked the opening skit. Stewart quickly corrected him, that it had been a sketch.
Yes. A million times yes.
So why the fuss? Why is the distinction so important that it’s worth correcting a former vice president? Because the difference in connotation is huge, to those who make sketch.
Simply, ‘sketch comedy’ is professional. It’s an art form. Gilda Radner and John Cleese are examples of sketch comedians. A skit, on the other hand, is amateur It’s something you do at summer camp, probably because you were forced to. Ask yourself. How likely are you to use the word ‘little’ before the word ‘skit?’
Writing or acting sketch comedy (well) is exceptionally difficult, and those who dedicate themselves to it will find the word ‘skit’ demeaning. You might as well tell Rembrant that you like his latest doodle.
Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. (And the other half is killing people.)
The cool thing about running a group of aspiring and professional videomakers is that if you write lyrics to a song about a fairy sick of being called ‘fairy…’ sometimes it gets made.
The new season at brevityTV is a lot like previous ones, except with a lot more make-up.
Another script of mine ends up on brevityTV.com. Only problem is that bald dude they got to be in it.
So many transitions this year. Got married, for one. Plus, after a couple of years as a freelancer putting together this gig and that, I now have a desk I’m supposed to be at, Mondays through Fridays. Naturally, both of these have a huge impact on the time I can spend with BrevityTV and my own writing in general.
But student-athletes get better grades than non-athletes, even though they have more to do, and it’s because their situation forces time management. I’ve been doing more words-to-page lately, despite having less time. So far, so good. Getting productive results out of your writing time means more when it will be the only couple of hours you get that week. Here’s what I want to remind myself to keep in mind in 2013 and beyond.
Delegate: Awesome people have stepped into roles that I filled previously, a necessary part of growing any group. You’re not passing off responsibility; you’re enabling others to grow.
Compensate: Time used to be more readily available than money. That’s reversed. So sometimes I allow myself to pay someone else to design or program something I would previously have done myself. Probably get better results that way, anyway.
Consolidate: We closed down Beyond.brevitytv and WeWriteFunny. I want to devote resources to efforts that will yield results, and remove the rest from my to-do list.
Recreate: Yet I’ve also increased the amount of leisure time I’m allowed. One is more productive after a rest, turns out.
Self-Exculpate: OK, the word is a stretch, but here’s the deal… I used to hold myself responsible for keeping up with every relevant TV show, every blog post on digital media, every tweet from people in my industry. But in 2012 there’s a fire hose of pertinent content blasting at us all. No one can keep up. There’s always something else to read, watch, or learn. If you feel guilt when you don’t stay on top of it all, you lose. So now, when every couple of weeks when I declare my entire RSS feed read, even though it’s not, or I do the same thing with Twitter, daily, or if I fall a few episodes behind in a TV show… I forgive myself. I process as much as I can, and don’t sweat the rest, because that’s all you can do.
Concentrate: Write, write, write, write. Spend time with wife. Relax. Now write some more!
A parody sketch I wrote for brevityTV.