Comedic/Dramatic Monologue for Women (20s-30s): The Grey Bride
This monologue was a request from Heidi Loveridge, a London-based actress coming to the U.S. for a round of auditions. She asked for something “really funny, really contemporary, and even a bit stupid, then turns into something that brings it down to earth with something really sad. Makes the watcher feel bad for laughing.”
Tall order for a page or two! But heck, that’s what I’m all about.
You can see me? Oh, praise the maker!
Oh, dear, but… I’m sorry. That means you’re lonely. Only lonely people can see me.
Welcome to Chesterton Manor. I’m the Grey Bride. Maybe you’ve heard of me? No? Hgghffff. In my day, a haunted manor was something special. Mortals aren’t impressed by anything any more. I blame mobile phones.
Yes, I know your technology. The Innkeeper often falls asleep with the television on. I may have been born in 1862 but I’m completely caught up with the Kardashians.
(You have no idea how much I wish he innkeeper would pick a different channel.)
And that’s called a laptop, right? You can use it for… What is it called? Bogging? You could make a bog post, and people would see it on their laptops?
I must share the story of my death with seven thousand, seven hundred, seventy-seven mortals before I may leave this realm. That is the curse when one is partly responsible for one’s own death. The rules are ancient, and care not a whit how long it takes me. Nor do they distinguish over circumstances. I… found my husband in this room, with… with a prostitute. My world went red. I flew at him, nails… teeth. That’s when the man I loved, calm as you please, put his hands around my throat and… I thought he would stop. That was my last thought, when will he stop?
They let this room out so seldom. You’re only the sixth person to hear my story. But if you did a bog post for me, we could tell so many people, so much faster.
I don’t have money… I thought… I can’t touch– But, I could… undress? I saw what you were doing with the laptop earlier. Please don’t be mad! … I would be better than that, right? You could… Tell me what to do?
Want to use this piece for an audition? Need to know my name? Want me to create a custom monologue for you? See the monologues page.