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Comedy/Romance monologue for women (20s to 30s): Ultra-romantic

A while back, I got a request from an actress named Daisy Faith for a new monologue. She was auditioning for a reality show on which the grand prize was a role in a sitcom. Daisy asked for a female version of the funny, neurotic guy characters like Chandler or Ross from Friends.

Well, the challenge spoke to me, and here’s my attempt:

First of all, I love you.

Not—I don’t really love you, like, LOVE you… We just don’t have a word… You know how in England, they’ll say they ‘fancy’ someone? That. I fancy you. Like, we say, I ‘like’ you, but that’s sorta, like, fifth grade, and it’s not enough to describe the flutter in my stomach. Neither is saying I fancy you, really… Umm… so, yeah, I guess that means I’m in l—Well, not—Don’t think—It’s just…

Woman in red sweater offers coffeeAlso, I slept with your brother.

I didn’t know he was your brother though. I hadn’t met you yet. And it wasn’t my fault; he has those, your, those same deep grey eyes, you know? So I just had to do him. I couldn’t help myself. But, I mean, of course I could resist doing him if I was, you know, doing you. Not that I want to presume any… doing. Although if you felt like… a do…

I’m going to stop using that word.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Your brother’s eyes aren’t like yours: gorgeous pools of molten steel, the depths of which reflect a hidden future that a woman may only allow herself to wish for only on a starry night, your rippling arms to come home to, each of my children with that same cleft in their chin that you have. Or… that’s coming on too strong. Right? I know it is. It’s just that you seem like the kind of man who wouldn’t shy away from Love. That’s one of the things I love about you. Well, fancy about you.

Huh? Oh… Daisy. And here I promised myself next time I’d start with my name. Anyway, yes, mocha latte coming up.

Want to use this piece for an audition? Need to know my name? Want me to create a custom monologue for you? See the monologues page.

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29. August 2011 by DigitalDeron
Categories: Monologues | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments (16)

  1. i did this too

  2. I agree louise I had sex with my friends brother too!!

  3. Ahahahaaa, I love this, I love you but I slept with your brother….makes sense :L

  4. I’m getting a lot of focus on the brother, here, ladies. 🙂

  5. I have so started without the name before. Oops. Haha. I can’t believe she was pouring her heart out to some guy at starbucks. Or, at least, that’s what it sounded like. For Advanced Theater class I have to find a monologue that moves me… FOUND ONE! Thanks so much!

  6. @Scarlet – Glad you like it. Break a leg!

  7. Is this from a movie or a book? I am doing this but i have to do a character bio. Thanks

  8. sayyy whattttt….you slept with my brother lol … i am deffently going to use this for my drama class…thankss

  9. I used this for my Prague film school audition and will use it for another audition since it turned out so well

  10. Hey there! I used this for an audition to a talent agency and they loved it! I was signed! Thanks for your beautiful, creative brain!

  11. Ah! This is magic! -No…that’s coming on to strong. 😀

  12. Love it! Just started working on memorizing it for auditions for my school’s upcoming play. It’s perfect.

  13. Hi! I used this monologue for trying out at a festival, and while I didn’t make it to the next round, it did get a laugh out of the entire audience. Thanks for letting people use them! 🙂

  14. Just used this for my first audition, went really well (in my opinion) and I’m just waiting to see if I get a callback. Either way, it was a blast!

  15. Oh goodness, this monologue is perfect. I’ve been trying to find one perfect for a romantic comedy audition, and I just did! Thanks for sharing this!

  16. This is amazingly hysterical. I am using it at an open mic free for all show my school is having. I am sure this will get the crowd on their toes.

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